The Modern Gentleman

At The Gentleman’s Club we’ve always said it’s a man’s world, but with a return to traditionalism dominating American male culture in 2010, we’re starting to think it may be turning into a Mad Men’s world. That’s one of the conclusions that... the results of our annual Gentleman’s Survey have led us to -- along with the ideas that TV and the “metrosexual” are dead, no one is really on Twitter, and the economic crisis was overblown -- but still left its mark on everything from the way guys date to the way we think about the environment.

We at the Gentleman’s Club wouldn’t make such claims without backing them up. And the backup is our 2010 Gentleman’s Survey, a poll that drew over 50,000 participants and more than 2 million responses.The final results paint a surprising picture of the modern Gentleman -- and shows just how much he has changed since years past.

1- The modern man doesn't play the field
Thanks to the unfortunate popularity of books like He’s Just Not That Into You, men are now faced with potential love interests who question our motives and overanalyze our behavioral patterns. The truth is, we’re much more traditional than women like to think. Sure, we forget to call here and there, but the one-night stands and meaningless relationships are something we’d like to leave in the past.

No less than 84% of our Gentlemen actually think it’s important to have a girlfriend with serious “wife potential.” We’re not out in bars searching for any girl who meets our standards at five minutes to closing time. We’re at the laundromat, the grocery store, and -- dare we say -- the “bookstore” (Those who know me, know what I’m talking about. I owe you two big time), hoping that maybe we’ll meet someone we could see ourselves with for a long time. And among those of us who are in relationships, 81% make an effort to surprise our partners with romantic gestures. Yes, red roses are nice, but surprising her with that antique necklace she saw in the window of a vintage shop is even better. See, men do care!

That said, while there’s definitely an “I” and a “me” in “domestic bliss,” the concept itself only works out if effort is put in on both ends.

2- The modern man will not tolerate the term "metrosexual"
Remember the term “metrosexual?” Throw it in the file cabinet folder marked “no longer applies.” These days, it’s standard for guys to put effort into their appearance, and in doing so they no longer risk being labeled a metrosexual or having their bag referred to as a “man-purse.”

We’ve also, thankfully, matured out of the post-“metrosexual” era of the dirty rockers (think Pete Doherty). We swung from Queer Eye… to a new norm that encouraged dressing shabbily, but thankfully we grew tired of the over-popularized aesthetic of skinny pants and beat-up Converse kicks. According to the Survey, we’ve now found a nice middle ground. We kept the fedora from the Doherty era, but we’re now pairing it with tailored suits and cufflinks. In fact, 84% of the Gentlemen who took our survey own at least four pairs of shoes, and 20% of them have at least four suits hanging in their closet. You can blame it on shows like Mad Men for reminding us that -- along with polite behavior and traditional gestures -- the well-dressed man does not have to be a thing of the past.

The same goes for grooming. Unkempt facial hair might suit pretty boys like Robert Pattinson (who perhaps feels the need to project virility), but we men know that a clean face is a sign of both professionalism and respect to our partners. Taking a shower alone does not constitute a grooming regime. The fear of being caught shopping for high-end skincare products on the main floor of Saks or Bloomingdales is a relic of the now-bygone metrosexual era.

The care we now take in our appearance is not a sign that we’ve become less manly; it’s quite the opposite. Self-presentation is only one aspect of the traditional revival that is well underway. The drinks we order at the bar represent another aspect of this revival. According to the survey, you’re more likely to find us sipping a scotch at a quaint bar we’ve discovered in our neighborhood than ordering a daiquiri at T.G.I. Fridays. After all, 51% of Gentlemen think the drink they order reflects their masculinity. Our fathers could retile the roof, change a flat tire, and take care of the family -- and they rewarded themselves for all of that with a nice scotch at the end of the day. We do too.

3- The modern man can do without TV and Twitter
For all our nostalgia for traditionalism, Gentlemen have embraced modern technology in all its forms -- and less-than-modern technology is suffering for it. Over the past few years, we’ve watched television almost completely die out; the proof is in the numbers. Today, 75% of us spend more time in front of their computer monitor than any other type of screen (only 18% cited the TV as the screen they spend the most time in front of), and 81% of them don’t think that downloading TV shows and music should be punishable by law. If the MPAA is looking for public support, it won’t be among Gentlemen that they’ll find it.

While social networking sites like Facebook serve as the most popular communication tools for the Everyman (even more so than e-mail, which seems to be going the way of the landline), Twitter seems to be something that we can all do without. Among us, 87% don’t use Twitter and are content to never add the verb “tweet” to their vocabulary.

4- The modern man thinks the economic crisis was overblown
While the ways in which we communicate have changed rapidly, the major economic changes that we all braced ourselves for have yet to hit. A surprising 85% of us insist that the financial crisis hasn’t had a direct negative effect on our career progress, and 62% haven’t even noticed a change in their employment status over the past year. Nonetheless, Gentlemen continue to seek professional shelter: Compared to the results of the 2009 survey, this year’s edition saw more men cite “stability” as the most important factor when considering a new job, and fewer cite “salary.”

The looming cloud of the crisis has also changed men’s priorities. Remember how concerned we all were when Al Gore showed us his vision of the future back in 2006? Well, the rotten state of economic affairs seems to have wiped the environment off the agenda. Today, 84% of our readers are only mildly concerned about the environment.

5- The modern man is the marrying kind
Another noteworthy result in this year’s edition of the Gentlemen’s Survey was that 95% of us are comfortable being in a relationship with a woman who has a higher salary. While we’d like to credit this to our open-mindedness regarding the opposite sex, we have a feeling that the crisis may also be at play here. A healthy dual income is definitely a desirable thing in 2010. The state of the economy seems to have also given rise to a greater reverence for stability in relationships (much to the delight of women everywhere). It is said that divorce rates go down in economic downturns, and apparently marriage goes up -- or at least our faith in it does. This year, 15% more of us believe in the institution of marriage compared with those who did in 2009.

The 2010 Gentlemen’s Survey in short? Men are putting a bigger emphasis on home life, returning to traditionalism and dressing the part. Sure, the economy might be on the rocks, but so is our scotch. Let’s toast to the return of the past. And Ladies, toast to the return of True Gentlemen.